The tipping point

So yesterday I hit the tipping point, which led me to start this blog.

Background: Our contract says that the hardware for our account (referred to as CPE, or Customer Premises Equipment) is to be free. It takes them four pages to say it, but the equipment and installation were to be free.

So, naturally, the first correspondence I receive from them, on April 10th, is a bill for the hardware, plus shipping, plus taxes and fees, plus an $8 "paper invoice fee", plus a tax on that (!)- all told, bringing the $460 router well north of $500. I call (twice) and am told that the charges will be refunded on my third invoice. I give up, and ignore the bill.

So, June 2nd rolls around, and the phone calls start (see previous entry)- my friends in the Collections department. I ignore the first call or two, since they don't leave a message and I don't answer random numbers. I finally get a message, and call to find out that they're harassing me over this shit.

So, I make it clear that "free" does not mean "loan Verizon five bills for an unspecified period of time", and they open a ticket to get the charge refunded.

The following day, I get a message that the cost for the router will be refunded. Good.

BUT, I will still be responsible for the shipping charge, the paper invoice charge, and applicable taxes. Bad.

Now, I've run billing for my company for 9 years now, about $4-5 million a week in retail sales. Silly me, if I billed a $7000/yr account for an extra $500 in direct violation of their contract, I'd apologize.

Not Verizon! No sir. Not even a rote corporate "we apologize... inconvenience... blahblah".

Instead, they're busting my ass over an $8 charge that they levied to send me an invoice for equipment that was supposed to be free.

As a wise man (or anthromorphic rabbit) once said "Of course you know, this means war!"

I'm tired of hearing from Verizon. As of yesterday, they'd called my cell phone 8 times in 11 business days. I never answer it, but they keep calling (caller ID- I loves it!)

So, yesterday I told one of the customer service reps I'm dealing with that I will only deal with them via email, so they should stop calling. On the wild, crazy possibility that my request might be ignored, I changed my voicemail prompt:


If you are calling from Verizon, you will need to contact me via email. Verizon, collectively speaking, are incompetent, dishonest, and operate with a level of integrity usually reserved for cheap swindlers hawking trash on late-night television, while displaying the sort of attention to customer service usually found only in government offices. Since Verizon has shown that even written agreements are honored only grudgingly and after a protracted fight, no verbal communication will be accepted.

For everyone else, please leave a message after the tone.

***

So far I'll call it a partial success- when they called this morning, I did not get the usual "please call Verizon about your account" message, they just hung up.